The Basement Cleanup That Started It All
So last Saturday, I was knee-deep in my basement storage, wrestling with dusty boxes my wife insists we keep “just in case.” You know the drill. Poked my finger on something sharp – turned out to be a crumpled 2014 NBA Yearbook. Totally forgot I owned that thing. Flipped it open, landed right on the Philadelphia 76ers page. Wow, the memories just flooded back about that… specific season. Figured, hey, why not actually see how that 2014 Sixers squad stacked up against literally anyone else? Made it my Sunday project.
Digging Up the (Painful) Numbers
First thing, hauled my old laptop upstairs. Dust bunnies flew everywhere. Booted it up – took forever. Had to hit up the NBA’s website archives. Started punching in team names: Sixers, Heat, Spurs, Pacers… you get the idea. Wanted those basic 2013-2014 season stats side-by-side. Simple plan, right? Wrong.
Searched for:
- Wins/Losses: How many times did they actually show up?
- Points Per Game: Could they even score?
- Opponent Points: Did they even try to stop the other guys?
- Simple Stuff Like Rebounds: Basics, people.
Took me ages just to find clean tables that weren’t buried under today’s stats.
Putting It All Together (The Ugly Truth)
Finally got a spreadsheet going. Copy, paste, repeat for like ten different teams. Started scrolling down the Sixers row…
Yeah, it was bad. Like, laugh-cry bad.
- Wins: Found them stuck at the very bottom of the list. 19 wins. Only team under 20. Yikes.
- Points Scored: Dead last again. Struggled to even break 90 most nights? Awful.
- Points Allowed: One of the worst defenses too. Other teams had a field day.
- Compare that to the Heat: Loaded with LeBron & co., stacking wins and points like nothing.
- Or the Spurs: Machine-like, winning 60+ playing beautiful boring basketball.
It wasn’t even close. Against legit contenders? The Sixers looked like a high school JV team lost in the pros. The gap was just massive. Shocking how wide it was, honestly.
The Final Tally (And Why I Won’t Do This Again)
After a whole Sunday lost to spreadsheets and dust bunnies, the conclusion slapped me in the face: The 2014 Sixers weren’t just bad compared to the best teams. They were bad compared to the average teams. Heck, they were bad compared to almost every team. That season was a straight-up tank job, pure and simple. Management gutted the roster on purpose. Putting them next to contenders like the Heat or the Spurs? Pointless. Like comparing a tricycle to a Ferrari.
My takeaways were brutal:
- Tanking Sucks to Watch: Makes the actual on-court product completely irrelevant.
- Spreadsheets Tell Ugly Stories: Sometimes the numbers just scream “run away!”
- Maybe Skip the Basement: Old NBA yearbooks are just pain waiting to happen.
Honestly? My wife walked in as I was finishing, saw my face staring at the screen. Asked what was wrong. I just pointed at the Sixers column on my spreadsheet and mumbled, “Why would anyone do this to fans?” She just patted my shoulder and told me next time, leave the ancient sports relics boxed up. Smart woman. Learn from my dumb weekend project – comparing that Sixers squad to anyone remotely good is just depressing.
