My First Awful Horse Experience
I showed up at the ranch feeling cocky last Tuesday, thinking “how hard can riding be?” Got assigned this big brown mare named Bertha. Tried climbing up like I saw in cowboy movies – total disaster. She sidestepped and I faceplanted right into the saddle. Straw in my mouth, guys laughing, whole mess.
The Turning Point Lessons
Old stable hand named Jim took pity on me. Showed me three game-changers:
- Get heavy with your butt – Turns out horses feel your weight shifts way more than leg kicks. Leaning slightly backward? Instant brakes.
- Shorten those reins stupidly – I was holding them like fishing lines. Jim made me grip them wrist-to-elbow tight. Suddenly could actually steer.
- Talk like a drunk sailor – “Whoooaaah” drawn out real slurry works better than “stop”. Bertha responded to tone, not words.
Practice Run Disaster to Success
Next day I tried putting it together. First attempt was comedy – leaned back too hard while pulling reins, nearly went over Bertha’s head. Jim yelled “LESS DRAMA!” Second try: Deep breath. Sat deep in saddle, short reins, gentle leg squeeze and growled “walk on”. Holy crap – she actually walked! Felt like winning the lottery.
Spent Thursday just practicing stops. Found clicking tongue while sitting heavy works smoother than yanking reins. By Friday evening I could make Bertha circle left/right without her trying to eat bushes. Still can’t trot without bouncing like a pingpong ball though. Guess that’s next month’s headache!
