Starting the Hunt for Norm
Got this weird voicemail last Tuesday morning about some unpaid library books from 2003 under Norm Richardson’s name. Problem is, I’ve never heard of this dude. Boss insists I track him down before Friday or our department budget gets slashed. Started by grabbing my cold brew and firing up the laptop.
Phase One: Basic Internet Snooping
First stop was Google. Typed “Norm Richardson” plus our city name. Got 87,000 hits. Mostly LinkedIn profiles and ancient forum comments. Clicked through twenty pages – dentists, real estate agents, even some college professor in Maine. Zero matches for our guy. Then tried phone directories. Found twelve Norm Richardsons nationwide. Called three before lunch – one was a funeral home, another hung up thinking I was scamming, third hadn’t lived here since ’98.
Phase Two: Social Media Deep Dive
Made a Facebook list:
- Searched public posts with keywords “library” and “fines” – just memes and rants
- Checked tagged photos at our local library’s page going back to 2010
- Joined three neighborhood groups asking if anyone knew him
All I got was some lady tagging her nephew named Norm who turned out to be Norman Richardson Jr. – wrong generation. Instagram was worse. Found two private accounts with that name and sent awkward follow requests that got ignored.
Phase Three: Old School Detective Work
Wednesday I drove downtown to the county office. Dusty records room smelled like mothballs. Clerk helped me pull property tax archives from early 2000s. Found his old address – 214 Oak Street. Drove there only to find a bubble tea shop. Talked to the owner who bought the place in 2007 from some couple named Garcia.
Hit the library itself next. Librarian dug up the original handwritten sign-out card from 2003 with his faded signature. No phone number, but spotted a now-defunct company stamp next to it – “Tri-City Printing Services”.
The Breakthrough Moment
Thursday panic mode. Searched the dead company name online and found an alumni forum for old employees. Posted asking about Norm. Two hours later, this guy Dave messages me – used to carpool with Norm in ’01! Said Norm moved to Arizona after the printing shop closed. Gave me his cousin’s email who supposedly gets Norm’s holiday cards.
Sent the cousin a rambling email about library books at 11PM. Woke up to a reply with Norm’s current number and a note saying “tell him he still owes me $20 from the Vegas trip”.
Final Countdown
Called Norm Friday at 8:03AM. Dude sounded half asleep but confirmed he borrowed those architecture books for some failed home renovation. Got him to wire $19.80 in late fees before the 9AM budget meeting. Boss still cut our coffee fund but whatever – mission accomplished.
