Alright folks, buckle up – spent the last three weekends elbow-deep in mud testing adventure bikes for proper trail bashing. Not some parking lot spin, but real sketchy terrain where you question life choices.

The Contenders Hit the Dirt
Gathered four bikes everyone keeps yapping about: Yamaha Tenere 700, Honda Africa Twin, KTM 890 Adventure R, and Suzuki V-Strom 800DE. Rode each for a full day on my nasty backyard loop – think greasy creek crossings, shattered logging roads, and those stupidly narrow deer tracks where handlebars kiss trees.
First Up: Yamaha Tenere 700
Threw a leg over the Yamaha first. Damn thing feels like a mountain bike with an engine – crazy light when you’re picking between rocks. That CP2 motor? Pulls like a tractor in first gear crawling up rooty hills. But man, the suspension… hit one hidden stump at speed and nearly bit dirt. Too soft for my fat ass when things get rowdy.
- Good stuff: Flicks around trees like a trials bike, engine won’t quit, cheap to fix when you drop it (you will)
- Annoying bits: Suspension bottoms out hard, seat feels like concrete after hour three, wind blast at highway speeds sucks
Round Two: Honda Africa Twin
Jumped on the Africa Twin expecting majesty. Got a couch on wheels instead. That parallel twin is buttery smooth eating highway miles to the trails. But soon as I pointed it downhill into slop? Felt like wrestling a drunk bear. So damn top-heavy in slow mud ruts – dropped it twice before lunch wrestling that weight.
KTM 890 Adventure R – The Animal
Saved the orange beast for a dry day. Ho. Lee. Shit. This thing attacks trails like it’s pissed off. Suspension soaked up baby-head rocks like they were pebbles. Flicked it sideways through berms laughing like an idiot. But that angry Austrian engine drinks fuel if you twist hard… and my wallet cried imagining maintenance costs. Felt overkill for my 60% dirt / 40% road reality.
Surprise Player: Suzuki V-Strom 800DE
Almost skipped the Suzuki. Big mistake. That new parallel twin’s got guts down low – tractor-mode engaged climbing clay hills. Surprised me flicking through tight singletrack almost as easy as the Yamaha. Suspension handled my 200-pound frame pounding whoops better than the Tenere too. Downside? Feels bland beside the KTM’s firecracker personality.

The Verdict After Sweat & Swears
KTM’s the king if you’re made of money and ride like a bat outta hell. Africa Twin’s your highway prince. Between Suzuki and Yamaha? For my broke ass doing trails daily? Leaning V-Strom. Does everything 85% as good as the others for way less cash. Yamaha’s more fun in tight woods… but that suspension’s a dealbreaker. Gonna thrash the Suzuki another week before signing papers.
spits dirt Remember kids – seat time beats spec sheets every damn time.