Alright, so I got it in my head that I wanted to rock a Gardner Minshew-inspired mullet. You know, that glorious mane of Mississippi Mudflap madness? Yeah, that’s the one. I figured, “Why not? Let’s do this.”
Step 1: The Inspiration
First things first, I needed some visual aids. I spent a good chunk of time, probably too much, scrolling through pictures of Minshew. Studying the flow, the texture, the sheer volume of that thing. I wanted to be sure what kind of shape, volume that I want.
Step 2: The Awkward Growing Phase
This was the toughest part. My hair was…well, it was a normal, respectable length. Getting to mullet-dom required patience, and enduring a lot of “interesting” hair days. I felt the pain when it grows.
- Weeks 1-4: Just letting it all grow. I looked like a shaggy dog. Hats became my best friends.
- Weeks 5-8: The back started to get some serious length. The sides…not so much. It was a constant battle against looking like a mushroom. I trimmed the top a tiny bit just to keep things somewhat sane.
- Weeks 9-12: Finally, some mullet-y vibes started to emerge. The “business in the front” started to take shape, even if the “party in the back” was still more of a small gathering than a full-blown rager.
Step 3: Finding a Brave Barber
I knew I couldn’t do this alone. I needed a professional, someone who wouldn’t flinch at the request for a “Minshew Mullet.” I called around, and I finally found a barber who sounded enthusiastic, maybe even a little too enthusiastic, about the project.
Step 4: The Transformation
I sat in that chair, heart pounding, showing my barber the Minshew pics I’d meticulously saved. We talked length, layers, and the all-important “feathering” technique. Then, the clippers buzzed to life, and he got his hands on my hair, and begin to shape it.
He was snipping, shaping, and sculpting. My barber works so fast that I can’t even take a nap. And finally, he hands me the mirror.
Step 5: The Reveal
There it was. A genuine, bonafide mullet. Maybe not quite as epic as Minshew’s, I have already got lots of fun from it. I stepped out of that barbershop feeling like a new man, a man ready to chuck some footballs and maybe, just maybe, start wearing jorts unironically.
It has already been done!
