So yesterday I got this crazy idea bouncing around in golf nerd brain – what if I tried drilling for the LONGEST hole-in-one possible? I mean, those tour pros make it look easy, but me? On my local course’s monster 210-yard par 3? Yeah right. Still packed my clubs before sunrise like an idiot.
The Stupid Plan Unfolds
First things first – grabbed coffee black as my hopes and dragged the ol’ shag bag to an empty field. Figured I needed answers fast: how the hell does wind really mess with the ball? Started throwing grass clumps like a toddler – watched ’em flutter left every single damn time. East wind today.
My “Pro” Setup:
- Stomped down a piece of cardboard behind the ball so I couldn’t cheat by scooping it
- Switched to my 3-hybrid like the internet told me to for distance
- Placed two broken tees pointing dead at the wind like makeshift runway lights
- Choked down half an inch on the grip like I saw some PGA guy do once
Started swinging. First three shots? Pathetic dribbles. Next five? Shanked wildly into the woods. Sweat dripping into my eyes now. Remembered the wind thing I observed – opened my stance so wide I almost pulled a hamstring. Gripped like I was strangling a snake. Backswing felt ugly as sin. Then – thwack.
The Unexpected Money Shot
Ball took off like a rocket straight into that east wind. Watched it curve slightly then drop hard right behind the 200-yard marker ditch. Jaw actually dropped. Felt like I’d cracked the Da Vinci code.
Rushed over to my course’s actual death hole – water left, bunkers right. Took that stupid open stance again. Heart thumping like a drum solo. Smooth backswing (for once), held my finish like a statue. Damn thing flew FOREVER, landed soft as a feather. Rolled… rolled… stopped tap-in distance from the cup. Hole-in-one? Nah. But hell, it’s living in my dreams rent-free tonight.
Key takeaways? That cardboard foot trick? Genius. Choking down the club? Helps control the chaos. And wind? Boss of everything. Now if you’ll excuse me, gonna go ice my shoulder and annoy the wife with this story again.
