Man, lemme tell ya, I learned this lesson the hard way. For the longest time, I was just…drifting, you know? Not really focused on what mattered, just kinda going with the flow, which usually meant flowing away from my responsibilities and any real progress.
I used to spend all my energy, and yeah, a good chunk of my cash, on stuff that didn’t pay back. Mostly, trying to impress people, be part of the ‘in’ crowd, or, you know, chasing after someone who clearly wasn’t that into me but definitely liked the attention I was giving. My job back then? It was just a way to fund this other, pretty pointless, life. I’d clock in, clock out, but my mind was barely there. I was just going through the motions to get that paycheck, only to blow it on things that left me empty.
Then one day, it all kinda blew up in my face. I missed a huge, and I mean huge, deadline at work. Why? Because I was out late the night before, trying to keep up appearances, trying to be someone I wasn’t for people who didn’t really care. My boss, who was usually a pretty decent guy, pulled me aside. He wasn’t yelling or anything. He was just… disappointed. He told me I had potential but was just throwing it all away. That stung. Around the same time, the person I was putting all that effort into chasing? Totally ghosted me when I actually needed a bit of support, not even for money, just someone to talk to. That hit hard. Like, really hard. It was a double whammy that woke me up.
So, I decided, enough was enough. Time to make a change.
First thing I did? I cut out all the noise. Seriously. I stopped going to those pointless hangouts that drained my wallet and my energy. I unfollowed a bunch of people online whose lives just made me feel inadequate or distracted. It was tough at first, not gonna lie. I felt like I was missing out on something, even though I knew deep down it was nothing valuable.
But then, I started using all that extra time and, surprisingly, all that extra money I suddenly had. I actually started paying attention at my job. I began to ask for more responsibility, to learn new things. I’d even stay a bit later sometimes, not because anyone forced me to, but because I genuinely wanted to get things done right and improve. I even started looking into some side hustles, things I was actually interested in, that could bring in a bit more dough and build new skills.
My whole focus shifted. It became about these things:
- Building up my actual skills, things that had real value.
- Saving up some cash, creating a safety net.
- Making myself valuable, not to others for approval, but for myself.
Sounds kinda boring when I list it out like that, right? But man, it was anything but. It was empowering.
Slowly, but surely, things started to change for the better. I got a raise at work. Then, a bit later, a promotion I never thought I’d be in the running for. My bank account wasn’t constantly screaming in terror every month. And you know what else? I just felt…better. More confident. Way less stressed out. I didn’t need anyone’s approval anymore because I was busy building my own damn thing, my own security.
It’s funny, once I stopped chasing things and people that didn’t really matter, the right things, and yeah, sometimes even the right kind of people, started to gravitate towards me, but this time, it was on my terms. The peace of mind that comes from knowing you can stand on your own two feet, that you’re building something solid for yourself? That’s priceless. You can’t buy that feeling.
So yeah, that whole ‘chase a check, never chase a…’ thing? It’s not just some catchy phrase people throw around. For me, it was a complete game-changer. Took me a while to really get it, to internalize it, but once I did, everything just clicked into place. You gotta build your own foundation first. The rest? It’ll either follow, or it won’t, but either way, you’ll be alright because you’ve got your own back. And that, my friends, is a pretty good place to be.
