My Frustration with Would Have / Would Had
You know, for the longest time, sentences like “If I would have known” or “She would had told me” just felt off when I heard or tried to write them. Like, my brain kinda twitched, but I couldn’t quite explain why it sounded wrong half the time. Super annoying! I’d use them interchangeably in emails or texts, sometimes guessing. Sometimes people didn’t notice, sometimes they probably thought I was a bit dumb. Yeah, not cool.
Enough was enough. I decided to actually sit down and figure out this would have vs would had mess once and for all. My goal? Be able to use these without second-guessing myself every single time.
The Painful First Steps: Google Fu
Okay, first stop: Google. Typed in “would have would had difference”. Honestly? Confusing! A bunch of grammar websites popped up with terms like “past perfect,” “conditional perfect,” “modal verbs” – ugh. I needed someone to just tell me like I was five, y’know? Keep it simple, stupid!
I scrolled past the overly technical stuff. Finally found a forum post where someone basically said: “Would had is almost always wrong except maybe in some weird old-timey way. Stick with would have or the shortened would’ve.” Bingo! That was the first real clue I could actually grasp.
Putting It Into Practice (And Messing Up)
Armed with this “usually would had = bad” tip, I tried rewriting some sentences I struggled with.
If he would had called, I would’ve answered.
FIXED: If he had called, I would’ve answered. (Saw that ‘would’ wasn’t even needed there!)
I would had finished by 5 PM.
FIXED: I would have finished by 5 PM. (Ahhh, yes!)
But then I stumbled again:
“She would have gone if she knew.” Wait, is that right? Or is it “She would have gone if she had known?” Back to square one? Felt frustrated!
The Breakthrough: Thinking About Time
Then I found a video – just a dude explaining it plainly. He said:
- Would have + past participle (like ‘done’, ‘seen’, ‘gone’) is the main thing for imaginary past situations.
- The part after ‘if’? That usually gets a different setup: had + past participle (like ‘had known’, ‘had seen’). ‘Would have’ doesn’t belong in that ‘if’ part!
So my tricky sentence:
- She would have gone (imaginary past action) if she had known (past condition).
Mind blown! It clicked! The ‘would have’ carries the hypothetical past action, and the ‘if’ clause uses ‘had + pp’ to set the past scene. Would had doesn’t fit anywhere standard!
Testing Myself & The “Would’ve” Lifehack
I started deliberately writing down practice sentences:
- If you had asked, I would have helped.
- They would have won if their best player hadn’t been injured.
- We would’ve been late if the train had been on schedule! (See? Used the shortcut ‘would’ve‘ naturally here).
Oh, and a huge practical tip? If you can say “would’ve” (like “wood-uv”), that’s always the contracted form of “would have“. You’d never naturally say “would-uv” for “would had”. If saying “would’ve” feels natural, stick with “would have” when you write it out. Instant check!
Where I’m At Now
Honestly? It takes conscious effort still, especially with more complex sentences. But the core panic is gone. I know:
- Would had = almost always a big red flag, avoid it.
- Would have / would’ve = correct for the imaginary past action.
- Keep the main “would have” part separate from the “if (had + pp)” setup.
I won’t claim I’m perfect, but understanding the why and having that “would’ve” trick makes a world of difference. No more awkward guessing in important messages! Phew.
