Alright folks, settled down with my coffee this morning thinking ’bout that trip last week. Figured it’s time to lay out how I finally cracked this whole “guiding the rookies” thing without anybody ending up tangled in barbed wire or chewin’ on bear spray. Jake Slaughter? Nah, more like Jake ‘Learned the Hard Way’. Here’s how it went down.
Wrangling the Gear (Again)
First off, gotta round up all the junk. Thought I had my compass dialed in, right? Nope. Dug it outta my bottom pack pocket, screen scratched worse than my old pickup truck. Had to fumble with my phone’s map app instead – felt like a city slicker, swear. Packed the essentials this time though: water, high-energy bars (the ones that don’t taste like cardboard sawdust), basic first-aid kit bigger’n a bandaid, and a whole roll of blaze orange tape. Learned that trick after Billy almost got mistaken for a deer that one time… still owe his mom an apology basket.
Assembling the Clueless Crew
Met the group bright ‘n early at the trailhead – usual mix of over-eager and lookin’ like they’d rather be back in bed. Frank brought his nephew, kid was wearin’ brand new white sneakers. White! In the woods! Just nodded, handed him a spare pair of old boots I keep for this exact disaster. Gave ’em the quick safety spiel again:
- Shut your trap: Seriously, less yappin’, more listenin’ for critters.
- Stick close: Wander off like little Timmy did last season? You’re gettin’ taped orange head-to-toe.
- Blaze Orange is MANDATORY: It ain’t a fashion contest. Be seen or become target practice.
- Respect the Boom Stick: Safety always on, muzzle pointed at dirt, finger off the trigger ’til ready. Basics, but folks forget.
Made ’em buddy up this time. Two heads are less likely to get lost than one.
Boots on the Ground & Learning to See
Started off slow, pushin’ through some thicket near Deer Creek – ironic, ain’t seen a buck there in years. Key wasn’t walkin’ fast; it was walkin’ right. Stopped every ten yards. Pointed out stuff they’d stomp right over:
- That busted branch a foot off the ground? Could be deer passing through hours ago. Rub marks higher up tell ya the size.
- See those vague hoofprints in the mud patch? Focus on the dew claws near the back if they show – separates deer tracks from bigger beasties sometimes.
- Listen for chipmunks yelling. Sound like tiny alarms? Means something bigger spooked ’em. Free scouts!
Frank’s nephew actually spotted turkey scat first, all proud. Kid has potential once the sneakers are retired.
Wind Check Blues
Got cocky near Bear Den Ridge. Thought I had the wind direction nailed. Puffed a bit of powder from my squeeze bottle – wrong way! Wind was carryin’ our stink right into the valley we wanted to stalk. Had to backtrack a solid quarter-mile, grumpin’ the whole way. Lesson drilled in: Check the wind constantly. Your nose lies. Use the dust. No shortcuts, especially not when the breeze is playin’ tricks.
The “Practice Makes Less Panic” Part
Found a decent clearing later, well away from any trails. Time for simulated situations. Safety first, last, and always. Made everyone dry-fire:
- Practice shouldering smoothly when something might appear suddenly behind a tree or brush pile.
- Work the bolt action empty – get that muscle memory so you don’t fumble loud clanks later.
- Identify a safe backstop every dang time, even pretendin’. This ain’t Hollywood.
We saw… exactly zero legal game that day. Couple squirrels, a hawk, lotsa birds. But honestly? That wasn’t the point this time.
Wrapping Up Without Trophy Pics
Headed back tired but nobody was muddy, bleeding, or lost. Biggest win? Watched Billy actually stop to silently point out a woodpecker hole to his buddy instead of yellin’ about it. Small victories. Shared my extra bars back at the trucks, reminded ’em: Safety isn’t glamorous, it’s just how you get home. Packin’ up my still-scratched compass, figured maybe it’s time for an upgrade. Til next time, be safe out there. Stay sharp, be seen, and respect the woods.
