This boy, JJ Wetherholt, I tell ya, he’s somethin’ else. Heard folks talkin’, callin’ it a JJ Wetherholt scouting report. Sounds fancy, but it’s just folks sayin’ how good this young fella is at baseball. And lemme tell ya, he’s good. Real good.

They say he’s the best hitter, the best pure hitter they call it, in the whole darn 2024 Draft. Now, I don’t know much ’bout this draft thing, but it sounds important. Sounds like pickin’ the best apples from the bunch, and this JJ Wetherholt, he’s the shiniest apple you ever did see.
Last year, now, pay attention, ’cause these numbers are somethin’. They say he hit .449. Don’t rightly know what that means exactly, but it sounds mighty impressive. Like hittin’ almost half the time! And then somethin’ called .517 and .787. I just know he’s good and has good JJ Wetherholt stats. Must be doin’ somethin’ right, that’s for sure. They say he’s got that good Hit 70, whatever that is. It’s all baseball talk.
Heard some fellas talkin’ ’bout him goin’ to the Chicago White Sox. JJ Wetherholt goes No. 5. That’s a big deal, I reckon. Like winnin’ the pie contest at the county fair, only bigger. They give him all these numbers, these scouting grades. Like judgin’ a prize-winnin’ hog, but for baseball.
- Hit: 70
- Power: 50
- Run: 60
- Arm: 50
- Fielding: 50
See, they got all these categories. Hit 70, Power 50, Run 60, Arm 50, Fielding 50. Sounds like he’s pretty good at all of ’em, even if I don’t know what half of ’em mean. Just means he can hit the ball far and run fast, I guess.
This JJ Wetherholt, he was born in Baltimore, they say. That’s a ways away. But he grew up near Pittsburgh, ’bout 20 miles they say. He’s a Ravens fan though, even grew up in Steelers Country. Heard he didn’t go to the college there though. Went somewhere else. Don’t matter, long as he can hit that ball.

Folks are all excited, sayin’ he’s gonna be a big star. This JJ Wetherholt, they’re sayin’ he’s the best thing since sliced bread. And you know how much I love sliced bread! So that’s sayin’ somethin’. They already talking about him being the St. Louis Cardinals’ first-round pick. That’s gotta be good. That’s probably why his hype is so big.
I remember back in my day, we didn’t have all this fancy scoutin’ and numbers. We just knew who could hit the ball and who couldn’t. But I guess times change. Still, it’s nice to see a young fella doin’ so well. I think JJ Wetherholt will be a big star. Makes ya proud, even if you don’t understand all the fancy baseball talk.
They say he’s gonna be makin’ lots of money, this JJ Wetherholt. More money than I’ve ever seen in my life. Good for him, I say. Hope he remembers where he came from. Hope he buys his mama somethin’ nice. Maybe a new dress. Or a whole new kitchen! A good boy should take care of his family.
I’ll be watchin’ him, that’s for sure. Even though I don’t understand half of what they’re sayin’ on that TV, I’ll be watchin’. And I’ll be rootin’ for him. This JJ Wetherholt, he’s got a bright future ahead of him. And I’m happy for him. It’s clear that his future is very bright. You can tell just by looking at him he will be great. I hope he can hit the ball good and run fast. That’s all that matters. This JJ Wetherholt scouting report, it’s a good one.
Well, that’s all I got to say about that. It’s all I know about this JJ Wetherholt scouting report. He seems like a good boy. Hope he does well. And I hope he hits that little ball real far. Real, real far. Maybe I should learn more about baseball. I don’t want to miss this JJ Wetherholt boy when he becomes a big star. I need to pay attention. He is going to be great, just you watch. He will be the best there ever was.
