So I’ve been rocking this Gazza haircut for months now – you know, short back and sides with that slightly longer messy top. Looked fresh when I first got it, but damn it grows out fast. After three weeks I looked like a damn hedgehog that got electrocuted.
The Awful Haircut Phase
Woke up last Tuesday looking at my reflection like “hell no”. My sides were fuzzy like peach fuzz, the neckline looked like a forest fire aftermath, and the top was flopping over like wet noodles. My barber charges twenty bucks just for neck trims – highway robbery!
My At-Home Battle Plan
Grabbed my old beard trimmer from the bathroom drawer. Not fancy but it works. Plugged it in near the bathroom mirror with the good lighting. Here’s what I did:
- Started with the neckline – put a finger right where my neck meets skull. Used the #1 guard to zap everything below that point. Felt scary the first time but no blood!
- Cleaned up the sideburns – switched to #2 guard. Made vertical strokes upward like I saw my barber do. Did the right ear first then switched hands for the left. Some wobbling but it worked out.
- Attacked the fluffy sides – went back to #1 guard. Used small, soft upward strokes so it didn’t scalp me. Hard part was the left side – kept bumping my elbow on the damn shower door.
- Topped it off with styling paste – dug out that blue container of styling putty. Took dime-sized amount, rubbed hands together til warm. Messed up the top section good. Finished with a light spray.
The Aftermath
Took maybe fifteen minutes total. Felt stupid easy once I quit overthinking it. That messy top hides any shaky lines near the sides. Saved twenty bucks plus gas money to the barber. Pro tip: do it Sunday nights – if you butcher it, two days of hat time fixes everything. My trimmer’s charging in the cabinet now, ready for next week’s battle!
