Getting my prediction started
So yesterday morning I grabbed my coffee and plopped down to figure out this Leicester vs Man United match. First thing I did was flip through my notebook – scribbled down last five games for both teams. Leicester got smashed 4-1 by Forest recently? Man that’s rough. United somehow drew with Brentford after leading. Both teams looking shaky honestly.
Checked injuries cause that always messes things up. United still missing Martinez and Shaw from defense. Leicester’s Evans might not play either. Then pulled up stats on my phone – Leicester’s only scored twice in past four matches while United keeps bottling leads late. Kept muttering “neither team deserves to win this crapfest” to my cat who couldn’t care less.
Building my dumb prediction
Time to actually make the call. Wrote both team names on post-its and stuck them on my fridge. Stared while microwaving leftovers. Thought about:
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Leicester’s chaos mode: When they actually wake up, Vardy still runs like a madman even at his age.
United’s away woes: They turn into different team on the road – like toddlers playing in parking lots.
Recent clusterfucks: Both teams making same dumb mistakes every damn week.
Ended up sketching three possible outcomes in my notebook: boring 0-0, 1-1 torture draw, or 2-1 either way. My gut kept yelling “DRAW!” because honestly both teams find new ways to disappoint weekly. Couldn’t even get excited about this prediction.
The final call that bored even me
Slammed my laptop shut around noon and texted my buddy Jay: “Mate put ten quid on 1-1 for Leicester-United. Don’t blame me if you lose money.” Wrote in my football journal: “Final prediction: 1-1 draw. Two awful teams cancelling each other out like coworkers at mandatory fun day.” Felt like predicting dish soap flavors – meaningless but had to do it.
What actually happened
Turned out neither team showed up to play football today. First half had less action than my grandma’s bridge club. United scored early after half then parked the bus like cowards. Leicester finally woke up in 88th minute with Iheanacho doing his one useful thing this season. Full time 1-1 – my least exciting prediction ever came true. Should’ve bet on how many times the camera would zoom on Ten Hag looking constipated instead.
Why football predictions suck sometimes
Walking my dog after the match, realized this prediction felt like flipping a rusty coin. When both teams play scared and uninspired, stats become pointless. Injury reports? Worthless when managers change tactics every half. Player stats? Meaningless when Maddison ghosts for 89 minutes. My “analysis” was basically just watching two mid-table teams play mediocre ping-pong with a ball. At least my cat enjoyed napping through the whole thing. Might stick to predicting weather next time.
