Why Even Try Golf? Seriously…
Okay, so I’m sitting there, scrolling through stuff late at night, and I get this crazy idea. Golf. Yeah. Looks chill on TV, right? People walking in nice shirts, gentle swings… big mistake. Figured I needed a starting point, so I watched this Michael Herrera thing promising “basic techniques for beginners”. Thought, “How hard can whacking a little ball be?” Buckle up, it’s dumb.
The Gear Grab
First, I needed clubs. Obviously don’t own any. Rummaged through my cousin’s shed, found this dusty old bag full of mismatched clubs. Like, one iron was literally rusted, but I grabbed the least scary-looking ones – something he called a “seven iron” and a big-headed wooden thing he called a “driver”. Good enough! Found some ancient, half-squashed balls. Practice ready? Ha.
The Humble Beginnings at the Driving Range
Found a local driving range. Paid for a bucket of balls (way more expensive than I thought!). Found the mat farthest away from everyone – smart move in hindsight. Popped a ball down. Felt awkward instantly. Remembered the video said “setup”. Michael made it look easy – feet apart, knees bent a bit, lean forward a little. Felt like I was trying to pose for a weird statue. Couldn’t even feel balanced. Just standing felt wrong.
The Swing (Air) Show
Okay, first try. Club felt heavy and weird in my hands. Michael talked about “grip”. Showed some V shapes or whatever. Mine felt like I was strangling a duck. Took the club back slowly, copying what I saw… then tried to swing it down and through. Whiff. Swung right over the top of the ball. Pure air. Ball didn’t even flinch. Embarrassing. Tried again. Smack! Hit the mat like, TWO FEET behind the ball. Dirt flew. Terrible sound. My wrists felt jarred. Third try? Shank-city. Ball took off sideways like a frightened rabbit, nearly hit the divider thing next to me. Guy down the way gave me a look.
Grip and Stance Wars
I remembered Michael stressing the grip and basic stance constantly. I kept trying to fix them after each terrible shot.
- Started gripping the club softer. Felt like I was going to drop it. Hit a little better? Maybe?
- Really focused on my feet – shoulder-width apart. Felt too wide at first, kept shifting.
- Bending those knees slightly? Felt like I was doing a weird squat.
- Leaning forward from the hips… back started complaining after 5 minutes.
Every tiny thing Michael said was “basic”, I had to think about HARD. Like patting your head and rubbing your stomach while someone throws rocks at you.
The “Ah-HAH!” Moment (Sort Of)
About halfway through the bucket of balls (and a developing blister), something kinda clicked. Maybe my arms weren’t as stiff? Or my grip was finally not like death? Dunno. But I swung, and instead of hitting the mat or sending it sideways… Click! The sound was different. Cleaner. And the ball… it went! Okay, it wasn’t soaring into the sunset or anything. It went kinda low and hooked left. BUT it flew forward! Over 100 yards? Maybe? Point is, it didn’t immediately dive into the dirt or try to take someone’s head off. That one stupid shot felt weirdly awesome. Pure LUCK? Probably. But it kept me going.
Still Awful, But Less Awful?
Finished the bucket. My hands hurt. My back was tight. That one decent shot was surrounded by 50 terrible ones – chunks, tops, slices, pop-ups, you name it. But that little flash… it hooked me. Since then, I’ve been back a few times. Still feel super awkward setting up. Still whiff sometimes (yep). Still send more balls sideways than forwards. But I’m starting to hit the ball forward slightly more often than not. Sometimes it even gets a little air. That Michael video? It planted the seed, but dang, standing there and actually trying to do it? So much harder than it looks. Just grabbing the club, standing without falling over, trying to swing without hurting yourself… that’s the first massive step. It’s humbling, makes you sweat, and honestly? Kinda fun once you accept you’re gonna look like an idiot for a long time. Back to the range soon… gotta beat that stupid little ball!
