Alright folks, gather ’round. Time to talk about this whole “Ryan Sutherland” thing I decided to try out last Tuesday. Honestly, just rolled out of bed feeling kinda restless and figured, why not?
Started Simple, Like Dumb Simple
First thing I did was grab a blank notebook. Not my phone, not some fancy app – just plain old paper and a pen that felt decent, y’know? Wrote “Ryan Sutherland” right at the top. Felt kinda weird just staring at it. What even is a Ryan Sutherland? Didn’t matter. Decided it was just a starting point.
Chasing a Feeling
Okay, so “Ryan Sutherland” wasn’t giving me much. Switched gears. Focused on sounds. Whispered “Ryan Sutherland” out loud. Tried saying it fast, slow, grumbly like an old man. Felt dumb. Kept going. Started scribbling words that popped into my head:
- Dry heat (like Arizona?)
- Distorted guitar (feedback kinda sound)
- Peeling paint (old garage maybe?)
- Sharp corners
No clue why those things. Didn’t try to make sense of it. Just dumped whatever came up.
Going Visual (Really, Really Basic Visual)
Flipped the page. Drew a stupidly simple rectangle. Wrote “RS” inside it big and blocky. Colored it in messy with a blue pencil I found under the couch – wasn’t even a sharp pencil, just blunt nonsense. Looked like a beat-up mailbox maybe? Didn’t fight it. Drew rough lines around it. Then added some jagged yellow scribbles above, trying to capture that “distorted guitar” feeling.
Here’s the thing: This wasn’t art school. This was messy. Leaning hard into feeling dumb and confused, but pushing through anyway. Kept asking myself: “What does ‘Ryan Sutherland’ feel like right this second?” And then trying to mark that down fast, before my brain stopped it.
Building Blocks (Pun Intended)
Started seeing basic shapes everywhere – the blue rectangle (mailbox?), yellow scribbles (light or sound?), the sharp lines (fences or structures?). Cut some little shapes out of spare paper: rectangles, triangles. Played around moving them over my messy drawing. One blue rectangle over the scribbles looked kinda like a weird sign on a pole. Huh. Okay, maybe “Ryan Sutherland” feels like… signs falling apart near a hot highway? Kept rearranging the cutouts.
Realization? More Like a Thud
Eventually, stepping back? Didn’t have a masterpiece. Had paper clutter everywhere. Pen almost dead. Blue pencil crumbs on the floor. Wasn’t chasing perfection, just chasing the act of starting with a random thing (“Ryan Sutherland”) and pulling on whatever thread felt loose that day. Got dusty hands and a headache, but also this weird… satisfaction? Like I showed up even when I had zero clue. Didn’t solve some big mystery. Just tangled with something unknown for an hour.
Why Bother Doing Any of This?
Because stuff kicks your butt sometimes. Bills stack up. Emails shout. News gets dark. Getting lost for an hour wrestling with “Ryan Sutherland” – a thing that didn’t matter at all? Weirdly, it did matter. Cleared the junk drawer in my head for a bit. Made room to breathe. Felt clumsy, messy, and completely human. That’s the whole point for me – hitting the reset button by tackling nonsense, head-on. Left me feeling looser, ready to tackle the actual problems.
Now the dishes are calling. Ryan Sutherland is done.
