Alright, let’s talk about this. For a long time, I kind of just went along with what I thought was the standard script, you know? What I figured guys were supposed to be about. I chased the usual stuff, the career ladder, the idea of “making it,” whatever that even means. I poured a lot of energy into building, accumulating, trying to get to some imaginary finish line.
My Early Grind and What I Thought Mattered
Back then, my “practice” was pretty straightforward: work hard, get ahead, secure the bag. I observed other folks doing the same, and it just seemed like the way things were. If you asked me then “what men live by,” I probably would have mumbled something about ambition, strength, providing. And don’t get me wrong, those things have their place, but I was missing a huge piece of the puzzle. I spent years with my head down, just grinding.
My daily routine was all about optimizing, pushing, achieving. I got up early, stayed late, networked when I didn’t want to, all in pursuit of… well, more. More recognition, more security, more stuff. It felt like I was doing what I was supposed to do.
The Cracks Start to Show
But then, you know, life happens. Things don’t always go to plan. I hit a few rough patches. Some professional, some personal. And during those times, all that stuff I’d been chasing didn’t offer much comfort. The fancy job title didn’t hug me back, you know? My bank account didn’t ask me how I was really doing.
I started noticing things differently. I saw people who had very little, materially speaking, but seemed to have this… inner peace. Or at least, a resilience I couldn’t quite grasp. They weren’t necessarily “successful” by the metrics I’d been using, but they were connected. To each other, to their communities.
Shifting My “Practice”
So, I began to experiment, to shift my own focus. It wasn’t an overnight thing. It was more like a slow, messy turning of a big ship. I consciously started to invest time in things that had no clear ROI, at least not in the traditional sense.
- I made an effort to really listen when people talked, not just wait for my turn to speak.
- I offered help without expecting anything in return. Simple stuff, like helping a neighbor carry their groceries or just being there for a friend who was struggling.
- I tried to be more present with my family, putting the phone away, actually engaging.
- I volunteered a bit of my time for causes I cared about, even when I felt I was “too busy.”
It was awkward at first. Sometimes it felt like I wasn’t “achieving” anything. But I kept at it, more out of a sense of curiosity and a growing dissatisfaction with the old way.
What I Actually Found
And slowly, something changed. Not necessarily in my external circumstances, but inside. I discovered that the moments that truly sustained me, the things that made life feel rich and meaningful, weren’t the big wins or the acquisitions. It was the connection. It was the feeling of being useful to someone else, of being part of something bigger than my own little world.
It sounds so incredibly simple, almost embarrassingly so after all that striving. But what I’ve come to believe men live by – what people live by – isn’t the stuff we can count, but the connections we build. It’s love, in its many forms. It’s compassion. It’s understanding that we’re all in this together. When I stopped chasing so hard and started connecting more, that’s when things really began to make sense. That’s the “practice” I try to stick to now, every day. It’s not always easy, but it feels a hell of a lot more real.
