So, I wanted to tell you about this thing I sort of invented the other weekend – I’m calling it Firekeeper Golf. Sounds a bit daft, I know, but it turned out to be a decent way to pass the time when you’re minding a bonfire and don’t want to just sit there like a lump.
How It All Started
I was out back, had a nice little fire going in the pit. You know how it is, you feed it some wood, watch the flames, poke it a bit. But after a while, I got restless. Just staring into the fire, well, it’s relaxing for a bit, but then my mind starts wanting something to do. And I didn’t have much around, just the usual garden stuff.
That’s when I spotted a few old, dried-up apples that had fallen from the tree. And a fairly straight branch lying nearby. And the idea just sort of… clicked. Why not try to make a little game of it while keeping the fire happy?
Setting Up My “Course”
This wasn’t exactly Augusta, you understand. More like rough-and-ready backyard stuff. Here’s what I did:
- The “Club”: I grabbed that sturdy branch. It was about the length of a short iron, if you squinted a bit. Trimmed off a few twigs so it wouldn’t snag.
- The “Balls”: Those old, dried apples. Hard enough to get a bit of distance, but not so hard they’d go flying into the neighbor’s yard. I had about five or six of them.
- The “Holes”: I didn’t dig any actual holes, of course. That’d be too much like work. Instead, I picked a few targets.
- The base of the big oak tree.
- A particular paving slab that was a bit loose.
- And the toughest one: a rusty old bucket I had lying on its side near the shed.
The key thing, the absolute main rule, was that the fire had to be kept going. That’s the “Firekeeper” part. So, between “shots,” I’d have to check the fire, add a log if needed, give it a poke. Couldn’t let it die down. That was non-negotiable.
Playing the Game
So, I started off. Stood a little way from the fire pit, picked my first target – the oak tree. Took a swing with my branch at one of the apples. Thwack! It didn’t go very far, to be honest. Those apples aren’t exactly Titleists, you know?
I’d take a shot, then wander over, check the fire, maybe toss on a piece of kindling. Then find my “ball” and try again. It was a slow game, which was kind of the point. Gave me something to focus on besides just the flames.
The paving slab was easier to hit. The bucket, though, that was a real challenge. Most of my shots just bounced off it or missed entirely. I think I managed to get one apple inside it after about ten tries. Felt like a major victory, let me tell you.
I wasn’t really keeping score, not properly. It was more about the process. Trying to get a feel for the “club” and the “balls.” And, of course, making sure that fire stayed roaring. If it started to die down, game paused, fire duty took over. That was the priority.
What I Noticed
It’s funny, you start doing something silly like this, and you notice little things. Like how the wind would catch the apples sometimes. Or how a slightly damp piece of wood on the fire would hiss and spit just as I was about to take a “shot.”
And it wasn’t as easy as it sounds to juggle both tasks. Sometimes I’d get a bit too into lining up a shot and then realize the fire was looking a bit sad. So, it definitely kept me on my toes, in a very low-stakes kind of way.
My aim got a little better after a while. Or maybe I just got luckier. Who knows? It wasn’t about perfection. It was about having a bit of fun with what I had.
The End Result?
Well, I “played” for maybe an hour or so, until the apples were too bashed up to use or I’d lost a couple in the bushes. The fire stayed blazing nicely the whole time, which was the main thing. I actually felt pretty good afterwards. Relaxed, but like I’d actually done something, even if it was just whacking fruit with a stick.
So, yeah, Firekeeper Golf. It’s not going to be the next big sport, I don’t think. But if you find yourself with a fire to watch and a bit of spare time, give it a go. You might surprise yourself. It’s a good way to keep both the fire and your braincells gently active. That’s my practice for you, anyway.
