So last weekend I got all twisted up watching these Instagram folks getting crazy love just for wearing neon suits or doing dumb dance challenges. Felt unfair since my actual work gets zero eyeballs. Decided to try their flashy tricks myself. Here’s how that train wreck went down.
The Dumb Experiment Starts
First I slapped together this “visibility strategy” after reading some viral marketing junk. Figured loud clothes + loud actions = free attention. Dug out my nephew’s radioactive yellow hoodie (seriously hurt my eyes) and planned to film myself jumping off the picnic tables at work.
Phase One: Trying Too Damn Hard
Monday morning I strutted into the office looking like a construction cone. People actually did stare! But:
- My manager frowned hard saying “You spilled paint?”
- Jen from accounting asked if I needed medical help
- The hoodie shed yellow fluff all over my keyboard
No followers gained. Just awkward coughs when I walked by.
Phase Two: Making Spectacle Moves
Next day I tried the stunt. Waited till lunch crowd hit the courtyard. Climbed on a wobbly picnic table yelling “CHECK THIS OUT!” Legit almost broke my ankle jumping. Results:
- Security guard sprinted over thinking I was stealing chairs
- Someone filmed it… with mocking caption #MidlifeCrisis
- Got written up for “unsafe conduct” & “property misuse”
Team chat blew up with laughing emojis. Zero respect earned.
The Brutal Truth I Learned
Turns out flashy ≠ valuable attention. Those Insta clowns? Their ridiculousness pays their bills. My flailing made me look desperate because:
- My yellow hoodie wasn’t a brand deal – just Target clearance
- Table jumping served no purpose except risking injury
- No skill behind it = no real reason to care
True standout people? They earn eyeballs by excelling first, then adding flair. Got approached Thursday when I actually fixed the server crash quietly. Boss noticed. Coworkers bought me coffee. Lesson? Be useful before being loud.
Still owe $200 for that damn picnic table though.
