So, you wanna know about my “coach philosophy,” huh? It’s funny, because for the longest time, I didn’t think I even had one. Or rather, what I thought was coaching was just… well, pretty off the mark, to be honest. I really had to stumble my way through it.
I used to think being a coach, or a lead, or whatever you want to call it, meant I had to have all the answers. Like, all of them. Someone comes to me with a problem? Boom, here’s the solution, step one, step two, step three. Go do it. I figured that was being efficient, you know? Getting things done. I’d spend hours sometimes, figuring out the “perfect” way for someone else to do their job.
Then I started working with this one person, let’s call him Alex. Super smart, really, but he just wouldn’t… click with my methods. I’d lay out the plan, clear as day, I thought. And he’d nod, say “okay,” and then go off and either get completely stuck, or he’d try something totally different that usually didn’t quite work out, and we’d waste time. It was driving me nuts. I kept thinking, “Why isn’t he just doing what I told him?” I’d repeat my instructions, maybe a bit louder, a bit slower. You can imagine how well that went. Yeah, not great.
Things Got Pretty Tense
We were hitting deadlines, and the pressure was on. I remember this one project, it was a mess, and Alex was supposed to handle a key part of it. I gave him the “perfect” plan, again. A few days later, nothing much had moved. I was frustrated, he was clearly stressed out. I was about to just take over the task myself, thinking that was the only way. I was pretty much at my wit’s end.
I pulled him aside, ready to give him another earful, or maybe just express my utter disappointment. But then, for some reason, I just… didn’t. I was tired. I think I just blurted out something like, “Okay, Alex, forget my plan for a second. What do you think is going on here? How would you tackle this?” I didn’t expect much, honestly. Maybe an “I don’t know.”
But then he started talking. And talking. He had all these ideas, things I hadn’t even considered. Some were a bit out there, sure, but the core of it… it was actually pretty insightful. He saw the problem from a completely different angle. My jaw nearly hit the floor. Here I was, trying to spoon-feed him solutions, and he had a whole kitchen of ideas himself.
So, we talked it through. I didn’t give him answers; I mostly asked questions. “Okay, what about this potential issue?” or “How would that integrate with the other part?” And he’d think, and respond, and sometimes adjust his idea. Slowly, a new plan formed, mostly his plan. And you know what? He went off and actually got it done. Not just done, but he did a really good job, and he seemed way more engaged doing it his way.
That was a huge turning point for me. It was like a lightbulb finally flickered on. My job wasn’t to be the chief problem-solver for everyone. It was to help them become better problem-solvers. It sounds so simple now, but it was a massive shift in how I saw my role.
So, what’s my “coach philosophy” now, after all that? It’s pretty straightforward, really.
First, I listen way more than I talk. Seriously. I try to understand their perspective, their challenges, what they’ve already tried.
Second, I ask a lot of questions. Open-ended ones, mostly. “What do you think?” “What are your options?” “What’s the biggest hurdle?” The kind of questions that make them think, not just give a yes/no answer.
Third, I guide, but I don’t dictate. I’ll offer suggestions if they’re really stuck, or point out potential pitfalls, but I try to let them own the solution. It’s their win, you know?
It’s not always easy. Sometimes it takes longer than just giving them the answer. And sometimes I still itch to just jump in and “fix” things. But I’ve learned that the long-term benefits are way bigger. People grow, they get more confident, they take more ownership. And honestly, it’s made my job less about being the bottleneck and more about empowering a team. It’s a practice, something I’m still working on every day, but that whole experience with Alex, it really set me on a different path. And I’m pretty glad it did.
