Okay, let’s talk about this ‘seager stat’ thing. It popped up a while back, and honestly, it threw me for a loop at first.
My Run-in with ‘Seager Stat’
It wasn’t like some official thing, you know? Not in any manual. It started when this new manager came on board. Super intense guy. Always talking about metrics, performance, numbers. One day, he drops “seager stat” in a meeting. Everyone just kinda nodded, but I could tell nobody really knew what he meant. Maybe he mumbled? Or maybe it was some term from his old job?
So, my task? Figure out the ‘seager stat’ for my projects. Great. First step, I asked around. Whispered questions in the hallway, sent quiet messages. Blank stares mostly. Someone thought it had to do with baseball, Corey Seager maybe? Yeah, helpful.
I went back to the manager. Tried to get clarification. He just waved his hand, said something like, “You know, the key performance indicator… the real driver… the seager.” Still didn’t make sense. He wanted a report on it by Friday.
Here’s what I actually did:
- I dug through all the dashboards we had. Pulled up every metric I could find. Sales figures, user engagement, bug counts, deployment frequency, server uptime… you name it.
- I tried mashing different numbers together. Maybe it was a combination? Like, user sign-ups divided by server costs? Or maybe bugs closed versus coffee consumed by the team? I was getting desperate.
- I looked at old reports, trying to see if someone had tracked something similar before under a different name. Found nothing.
- I spent hours staring at spreadsheets. Seriously, my eyes were burning. Tried plotting random data points. Made some fancy-looking charts with absolutely no meaning.
In the end, I felt completely lost. It felt like busy work. Like the manager just wanted a number, any number, to show he was doing something. It reminded me a lot of my previous place, where we had these ridiculous reporting hoops to jump through every month. Wasted so much time.
So, what happened? I basically picked a couple of standard metrics, gave them a slightly different spin in the report, and called it the ‘Key Performance Trend’ (avoiding the weird name). I made sure the chart looked impressive, lots of upward trends where possible. Handed it in.
He glanced at it, nodded, said “Good job on the seager stat,” and that was it. Never mentioned it again. Seriously. All that stress and confusion for nothing. Just another day trying to figure out corporate nonsense, I guess. Made me really think about what we spend our time doing sometimes.
